Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
