I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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