she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
