1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
North Korea, Best Korea!
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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