it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
