Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.

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(631): View more from New York

New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.

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(813): View more from Florida

running late. just ran over a dude on a bike

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(903): View more from Texas

she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.

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(331): View more from Illinois

DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.

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(847): View more from Illinois

My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.

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