So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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