Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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