roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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