I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
foreskin is a definite game changer
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
