All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
