why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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