Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
