Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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