why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
