I forgot how hot balto sounded
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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