just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
