he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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