it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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