I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
