..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
