The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
