ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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