The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
