She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
