I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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