youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
