I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
