She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize