if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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