There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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