So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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