We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
