so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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