I didn't shave. On purpose
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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