Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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