I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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