im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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