Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Did I show you my penis last night?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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