He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
They are going to name an STD after you.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
