Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
