she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
