What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
