Sry I called you an 8
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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