You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
