I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
