so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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