Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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