woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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