btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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