see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
