Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
