i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize