I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
