I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I want to walk on stilts...naked
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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