my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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