Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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