come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
