Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
