she woke up with a sticky ear
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he fucked my hip out of place.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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