Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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