well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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