ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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