I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
