Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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