We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
